Last Friday July 22, 2011 at around 7:40pm while riding a jeepney going home from a very exhausting job hunting day, my cousin Pinky called me up. Her voice sounds so very frightened saying our GRANDFATHER was in the hospital (Davao Medical School Foundation) at the emergency room due to shortness of breath. According to my cousin, our Lolo (Grandfather) needed to be admitted in Intensive Care Unit because the situation was critical.

I immediately ride another jeepney going to the hospital. The moment I arrive I can feel that the situation was something rally very serious. My Aunties and cousins were all teary eyed. I tried to compose my self and remained calm because I wanted them to see me strong and I know for sure that they will be even more weak when everybody will cry. I was given the chance to go inside the E.R. and that time Papa was very pale. He was obviously gasping for breath, his eyes were almost closed but I feel that he was trying to open it. A nurse was beside him holding an apparatus that pumps air to support Papa’s breath. I was so amaze with how Papa fight for his life. Yes! Papa is a fighter, I can see that he still want to be alive. Papa is now 88 years old but he can still recognize us, he can still walk, see, hear and cooperate. We told him that even if he didn’t want the tube inside his mouth, he needed to have it because without that, it would be very hard for him to breath.

At around 10pm we were able to transfer him in a private room. But before it happened the situation was something so very difficult for my Aunties to decide. According to the doctor, the situation is I.C.Uable and Papa needed a close monitoring. Although my auntie knows that we needed to give Papa the best medication that he needed, she was also worried with the hospital bills especially that I.C.U is very expensive. She said that she was thinking of Papa’s life but then he was also thinking of the side of her siblings who will also pay for the bills. Personally, I was so sad that we needed to experience that situation. That we needed to decide between those things. My auntie said to the doctor that she needed to be practical. Papa is now 88 years old and previously a lump was found in his lungs. Although it is something very hard for us, my auntie just requested for a private room instead in the I.C.U. She also said that she already asked Papa during the time when he was gasping for breath, she said that PA OKEY RA KAW? (pa, are you already okey) and Papa nod. Although it was very painful to accept, atleast we are assure that whatever will happen Papa is already peaceful with himself. Yes it was so painful to think with that situation but we needed to decide and make a choice.

The doctor said that, they needed to do their job, the situation is critical that is why they wanted Papa to be in the I.C.U. But they also understand our side especially that Papa is already 88 years old. That’s why before he was admitted in the private a room, my auntie signed a waiver that whatever will happen the hospital won’t be accountable. There were I think 7 choices on the waiver. Choices that will be applied when the patient will be flat lined. If I’m not mistaken my auntie signed I think the first three choices. That if and only if Papa will be flat lined, a CPR, oxygen, and that electric pump will only be applied. (I’M NOT SURE WITH THESE THREE CHOICES).

My auntie also said that atleast whatever will happen to Papa we were able to provide him a comfortable place. And the last decision will be with God’s arms. If he wanted to end Papa’s life here on earth it’s all in God’s plan.

Today is Papa’s 3rd day in the hospital. His condition was getting better. His very cooperative and I think without the tube he would still talk  to us. Kaya nga lang sa ngayon hindi muna siya pwedeng magsalita. What had happened was, his oxygen, hemoglobin and sodium chloride was too low. That’s why he was very weak and gasping for breath the time he was admitted. For now, the medication is continuous. So I gotta go. I need to be there in the hospital. Thank you so much God for Papa’s life. Before I end this post I wanted to share what my Auntie said yesterday:

“The decision whether Papa is to be admitted in the I.C.U or private room, was the hardest decision ever in my whole life. I already offered Papa’s life to God and I realized that our faith will sometimes be tested. You see Papa! Maybe if my faith was not this strong Papa I think Papa will not recovered anymore. That’s why I am very thankful and I believe my faith helped a lot with Papa’s situation now. It was even hard for me to left him during the fiesta in Salvacion because that time he was suffering from fever but I go home because I know Papa is ever devoted with Senior San Jose. Yagkuha ako ng burak sa karo ni Senior San Jose kay amoy kanak ipag pahamot kanaan. Sos paga testingan gayod agaw ang kanato pagtoo. Kanaman paga ampo ko gayod pirme na diri lamang ako pag tagan ng sakit kay haw sino sa pamilya ang yanginahanglan ng serbisyo matabang gayod ako.

photo credits here


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